


A Love That Burns Hot Enough To Last

by have-a-little-laith (LWritesx)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Car Accidents, Cliche, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Dancing and Singing, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gay Keith (Voltron), Heartache, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lack of Communication, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Married Couple, Memories, Memory Loss, Misunderstandings, Multi, POV Multiple, Past Allura/Lance (Voltron), Past Relationship(s), Relationship(s), Slow Dancing, Swearing, The Author Regrets Everything, Voltron Secret Santa 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-09-27 14:26:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17163644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LWritesx/pseuds/have-a-little-laith
Summary: "Patience," Dr. Romelle replies easily, and Keith has to wonder exactly how many loved ones she's told this same exact thing for her to be sounding this calm.All he wants is to wake up and realize that this is just a crazy, twisted dream-- that his husband, his Lance is awake, carding his hands through his hair, kissing him sweetly, as if to make up for the time they spent apart.But unfortunately, this is his reality.





	1. Take The Blade Right Out My Heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for @hystericalcherries on tumblr as part of the 2018 Secret Santa Exchange! 
> 
> You asked for Klance and memory loss.
> 
> Enjoy, love. 
> 
> okay so lemme just think real quick for any forenotes I should mention;
> 
> 1\. mentions past allurance/present lotura/and adashi. i sent in an ask to know whether you were uncomfortable with any of these ships, but you didn't reply so i went ahead  
> 2\. there is an implied bj at the beginning, under the first three ...  
> 3\. this work is neither beta'd nor edited, please point put ANY mistakes  
> 4\. this is the first work that i'm not moderating comments on, so please be nice to each other.  
> \---  
> and lastly, the text under the bolded 'headings' signify real time, the italics signify flashbacks. the dots operate as a break.

**26th November 2018,** **Arus Private Nursing Home.**

**[KEITH'S POV]**

Keith Kogane-McClain dutifully signs the release papers presented to him.

For the past two hours or so, he's been moving almost mechanically. 

"Hey," Dr. Romelle says, and his attention automatically snaps to her, "He'll be fine. Remember, he's just woken up from almost a month of being in a coma. Regaining his memories will take time and patience. Use this time to help him, and to make new memories together."

"I appreciate your advice, doctor," Keith tells her, trying to keep his expression neutral, "But what if he _doesn't_ remember? He doesn't even know who I am. When he woke up, the first person he asked for was _Allura_. We haven't seen Allura in almost a year."

"Patience," Dr. Romelle replies easily, and Keith has to wonder exactly how many loved ones and relatives she's told this same exact thing for her to be sounding as calm as she does right now. 

Another person joins them at the reception desk, exquisite floral perfume covering the disgusting, upsetting scent of bleach and chemicals. It's a familiar scent, and he recognizes it as belonging to Allura. Her teal blue eyes look sunken in under the harsh lighting, the usual glow around her dark skin nowhere to be seen. She places her hand on his back, a soothing gesture. The heat of her palm burns his bare flesh through his thin, black v-neck, as does the small, cold sting of the engagement ring sitting on her finger.

"How are you holding up?" she asks, tiredly.

"I've been better," Keith sighs, "But someone needs to be strong for us right now. You left him alone?"

"Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro are with him. Adam and Lotor went to pick up lunch and coffee since we won't be able to leave until around three," Allura responds.

The last thing on Keith's mind right now is food. It may be childish of him, but right now, all he wants is to wake up and realize that this is just a crazy, twisted dream-- that his husband,  _his Lance_ is awake, carding his hands through his hair, kissing him slowly and sweetly and softly, as if to make up for the time they spent apart. 

But unfortunately, this is his reality.

"I needed a break," Allura whispers, a lone tear escaping its barrier of her eyelids.

She wipes it away quickly, and Keith pretends that he saw nothing. If there was one thing about Allura, it was that she _hated_ to appear weak in front of others.

"Well, you're welcome to stay with me as long as you like," he says, equally as softly.

Allura stays by his side until all the forms have been read thoroughly and signed.

Together, they make their way back to Lance's room.

**...**

_23rd October 2018, Kogane-McClain House._

_"Lance, Lance, Lance," his husband's name falls from his lips, each syllable caressed like a prayer._

_Lovingly. Tenderly. Reverently._

_His_   _hand entangles into a mop of soft, brown hair._

_Kisses, sweet and teasing, are pressed into his hips before he's enveloped into Lance's warmth again._

_Keith moans, softly and lightly._

_He knows the man above him treasures these little noises. He knows that Keith makes them just for him._

_Lance brings him over the edge with gentle words and touches, into white light, and he swears that he can see stars behind his eyes._

_Wildfire ignites beneath his skin when lips that taste of the remnants of their love capture his._

_Lance presses his hand over Keith's bare chest, over his racing heartbeat, encouraging him to take solace and comfort in the afterglow._

_Their love is never dull. It can go from slow and intimate to passionate and firey, all in the blink of an eye._

_Between them, there's a love that burns hot enough to last._

_Hazy violet eyes meet clear blue._

_He presses his lips to Keith's, once more._

_"Happy birthday, mi vida. I love you," Lance says, smiling down at Keith as if he's the very epicenter of his universe._

_Keith smiles back, blissed out, allowing Lance to take him into his arms, into an all-encompassing embrace, as they fall asleep in the safe haven of their bedroom._

**...**

** 26th November 2018, Kogane-McClain House.  **

"Keith, I am truly sorry about this," Allura says, guilt plain in her voice.

"No, don't apologize, 'Lura," Keith yawns, "This is absolutely fine. If anything, I should be apologizing for inconveniencing you and Lotor on your trip. But... Dr. Romelle might be right, maybe having a face he trusts close to him will get him to open up. I'll... I'll just get the guest bedroom set up for you."

"Keith," Allura protests, "Please, take the bedroom. I can use the air bed."

"You're doing so much for me already," Keith says with finality in his tone, "I'm taking the damned air bed. Don't try to fight me on this."

"Fine," Allura pouts, with a small glare in Keith's direction.

They both turn their attention to Lance, who stands in the living room, watching all the pictures on the wall with a frustrated expression on his face, blue eyes unfocused.

"I should go get him before he gets upset," Allura frowns.

"Right. Yes." Keith agrees, "You do that, and I'll go set up."

He grabs the single suitcase of Allura's belongings and takes it up the stairs with him. 

On his way, he passes the master bedroom. Like a movie, a montage of memories flitters across his mind.

He's been holding himself together all day, but something about the room, maybe it's remembering the long nights spent talking, loving, tangled in each other's embrace, pure, unaltered  _devotion_ radiating from them both, or maybe it's seeing the door half-open with the half-expectation of Lance sweeping out of the room, pressing a soft, chaste kiss against his lips, or maybe it's that his nose catches a whiff of Lance's favorite cologne wafting out the door, or maybe it's the picture of them that he knows sits framed atop Lance's nightstand, but whatever it is, causes an ugly sting at the back of Keith's eyes.

He wipes away his tears as quickly as they can fall while speedwalking to the guest room at the other side of the hall.

Keith vaguely recalls Lance telling him once that the spare sheets were in the small walk-in closet attached to the guest room. After he puts Allura's suitcase in the closet and a few minutes of digging, he finds them. He puts on the bedspread, making sure to get all the creases and wrinkles out, just as Lance has always been insisting he does since they began living together. There's not much else to do in the room, so Keith heads back downstairs to make dinner.

He settles for Lance's favorite dish, _arroz con pollo_. 

The long list of ingredients needed for this dish intimidated Keith at first, but over time and with the help of his mother-in-law, he got over it.

This dish is pretty easy to make, and it's all reduced to just one small pot of food.

After he finishes dinner, he stays with Lance while Allura hits the shower.

The T.V plays idly in the background and they sit in awkward silence, until Lance says, "Allura tells me I come from a big family. Why aren't they here?"

It's Lance's first attempt at talking to him. It's not exactly what Keith's expecting, but given the circumstances, he's glad for any kind of communication at all. 

"Your mom and dad were here for almost two weeks, but they had to go back to the farm. They should be back for Christmas," Keith replies, "I told everyone else that I had everything under control here, so they left to  get back to their various jobs and stuff-- plus I knew you'd want a bit of space when you.. uh, when you woke up."

"Can you... Can you tell me about them?" Lance pushes.

"Of course," Keith says, getting up.

He pulls out an old album from a drawer underneath the TV stand and opens it up to the first page. There's a full-size picture of the McClain family on the inside cover (taken on their wedding day), and he uses that to point out each individual as he tells Lance a few details about them.

"Well, you're the baby of the family," Keith tells him.

"These are Isabel and Andrew McClain, your parents," Keith continues, "Isabel gives hugs like warm cocoa on a fall day, and Andrew is too soft to hurt even a fly. They're really, really good people. They own a farm upstate, and Isabel sells the flowers that she grows on the farm in a little flower shop in town. Andrew's parents were Scottish, and Isabel's parents were Cuban. Both couples worked for some old rich dude, and that's how your parents met. Apparently, his staff treated him better than his own children so when he died, his will stated that everything would be shared among the staff. Instead of giving anything to your grandparents, your parents were given a piece of land so they could marry and start their own family."

It was the kind of Harlequin love story that was so pure and cliche, it made even _Keith's_ insides turn to mush whenever he hears it. 

Keith points out his parents, both wearing big smiles. He notes once more that Lance is a perfect combination of both his parents; lanky stature, sharp, angular jaw, and bright blue eyes inherited from his father, and curly brown hair, thin, arched eyebrows, with a lovely shade of caramel skin inherited from his mother. His pride and joy is his skincare routine; an elaborate combination of exfoliators, face masks, creams, and moisturizers that relax him in addition to keeping his skin soft and smooth and blemish-free.

Keith points at the tallest man in the picture. He's got brown eyes, floppy brown hair and goatee, a large smile, and an arm wrapped around a shorter woman with equally as brown hair and eyes. A small boy sits atop his shoulder, and a girl of around four on top of her grandmother's lap, smiling widely at the camera.

"This is your eldest brother, Luis, and his wife Lisa," Keith smiles softly, "They own a small diner. And their kids, Sylvio and Nadia."

There's another tall male next to Lisa, who looks almost identical to Luis, save for long, shaggy brown hair, sans goatee, and a peaceful, lazy smile at the camera.

"Marco," Keith says, "Older brother, accountant."

Marco stands next to a woman wearing heels that gives her a bit of height.

(Although she only comes up to his shoulder.)

She's beautiful in a fierce kind of way, with chin-length brown curls and eyes a mere shade of blue brighter than Lance's.

"This is Veronica. She teaches in the Galaxy Garrison with me," Keith says, and then adds as an afterthought, "You're closer to your sisters than your brothers."

Lance looks at the last curly-haired woman in the picture. He squints. He feels as though he can tell who she is, as though he has some _special_ type of connection to her.

"Who... Who is she?" Lance asks, unconsciously tracing her face with his finger, gaze lingering on her haunting brown eyes.

"That's Rachel," Keith says softly, "Your twin sister."

Allura comes downstairs then, and their conversation is left unfinished in favor of dinner.

**...**

_24th October 2018, The Galaxy Garrison [Institution for Elite Astroexplorers and Engineers]._

_"Adam and I are coming right after work," Shiro says._

_"Wait, you guys are coming over? Why?" Keith asks, baffled._

_"Keith, it was your birthday and we didn't do anything. And I really wanted to spend some time with you, like we usually do," Shiro pouts, looking at his little brother fondly._

_"So, it's only the four of us, yeah? But..I dunno if Lance has plans. Let me find out," Keith frowns, opening his thread of messages with Lance._

**Ae-In <3**

**Love.. do you have any plans for us for tonight? [11:35 AM]**

No. Not that I can think of. Why? [11:35 AM]

**Shiro & Adam are coming over for dinner. Takeout, or shall I make something? [11:37 am]**

Takeout, Angel. Don't stress yourself. [11:39 AM]

**Alright... I'll see you tonight. I love you, be safe <3 [11:40 AM]**

You too, baby <3 [11: 41 AM]

**•••**

**29th November 2018, Kogane-McClain House.**

The days don't get easier. Keith hadn't anticipated the kind of effect putting Lance in the master bedroom would've had on his mental health. They ended up swapping, Lance opting to take the air bed, set up neatly in the office.

Hunk and Pidge spend hours with him, trying to jog his memory, trying to bring him back to the person he once was, but it doesn't work. Keith won't lie, it's getting frustrating dealing with a person who seems to know both English and Spanish fluently, but can barely remember their own name.

Today, they're sitting together on the couch, rebuilding the puzzle that was Lance's love life. Lance kept the stories of his great loves in pictures, and Keith didn't have the heart to throw them out, nor did he have the heart to be jealous. He's the one that Lance  _married_ , after all.

"This is?" Lance asks, pointing to the girl with blue hair.

"Flo Rona," Keith replies, "Ex-girlfriend."

"And this?" It's a man this time, with sleazy brown eyes and blonde hair.

"Rolo," Keith hesitates, "Ex-boyfriend."

There's a change in the air, an awkward pause when he says this.

"Oh.. So I like boys and girls?"

"Yep. Yeah, you're bisexual."

"Cool. Allura?" Lance asks further.

"Ex-girlfriend," Keith says.

"And... you?" Lance asks, gaining sudden, uncharacteristic shyness, eyes peeking up from behind long, long lashes. Keith stiffens. He wasn't quite sure how to approach this topic with Lance but... he figured that they would cross that bridge when they got there.

Only, now they were here, at this bridge, and Keith's still unsure of what to say. It's like a rock settles in his stomach. He could tell Lance their whole life story, hell, he could wax lyrical about their epic, _epic_ love, but.

But, at the end of the day, it doesn't change the fact that Lance doesn't know who Keith is.

Lance isn't the same person that he was two months ago.

And Keith, well, he's stuck living in the past. 

What if... What if he tells Lance, and he recoils in disgust, why am I married? Why did I choose _you_? 

What if Lance rejects him?

What if Keith, in a fit of anger, accidentally lashes out at him?

It's an unpleasant feeling-- knowing that you'll have to be vulnerable in the presence of someone who's practically a stranger.

And Keith doesn't know how.. if he can come back from that. 

"Keith," Lance whispers, "Please, tell me. What are we to each other?"

And he can't say no. He can't look at those breathtaking cerulean blues, the blue eyes of the man he loves-- the man he agreed to cherish and love and spend the rest of his life with, for better or worse-- and possibly refuse.

"We're.. we're married, Lance," Keith whispers, in the same hushed tone, voice quavering, as delicate and fragile as an arrow, "The reason why I was allowed to sign your release forms is that I'm your emergency contact. Your husband, Keith Kogane-McClain."

His name should have been breathed with a sigh of relief.

Instead, there's a tense, heavy pause before it happens. 

Lance's face visibly falls.

Keith's cheeks flush red hot. His stomach recoils. 

It stings, a sharp, hot prick in his chest. His eyes well with tears. Shaking his head, he gets up.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything," Keith bites his lip.

"Keith," Lance says.

"Just.. forget about it. Please."

It's muttered through violet eyes lined with tears, and he leaves the room, quickly, before they can fall. 

**...**

** 5th December 2018, Lance's Office, Voltron Communications Limited HQ.  **

**[LANCE'S POV]**

"Lunch, buddy?" Hunk grins.

Lance accepts the brown bag with a grateful, small smile.

Him, Hunk, and Pidge have easily fallen back into their Friday tradition-- Hunk bringing them a hearty, home-made lunch. 

"How are things at home?" Pidge asks, pulling up her chair next to his.

Lance heaves a sigh, "It's complicated."

Hunk and Pidge look at him. Even though he barely remembers them, their faces betray their curiosity, and his gut tells him that he can trust them. He takes this feeling as a cue to go on.

"It's hurting Keith," he says, frustrated, "I can tell it's... hurting him. Ever since he told me that we were married, things have gotten tense and awkward and just.. worse."

"I mean, it's so unfair to him. He says that he doesn't mind having Allura around, though my instincts tell me that it's a half-truth. He doesn't think I can hear him crying in his room at night, but I can and it's just _ugh_ ," Lance continues.

"Why?" the ever curious Pidge asks.

"Why what?" Lance hums, lowering his gaze.

"Why ugh?" he's surprised when Hunk speaks up, "Talking about it might be able to help you figure it out."

"Okay, so it's like this," Lance flops his hand around, in time with his words, "We're married, and I don't remember _anything_. I don't remember our wedding, our honeymoon. I don't remember how we started dating, or who proposed, or when is our damn anniversary. I don't want to bring it up to Keith because every time I see him, or I feel him looking at me, there's this sad, painful expression on his face, and it frustrates me to no end that the only thing I can remember is a woman named Allura, who was my ex-girlfriend! How messed up is _that?!_ "

It's pretty messed up. Lance hates seeing those stunning violet eyes turn sad whenever Keith thinks about what their life was like before the...incident. 

"Well, I can tell you," Hunk grins, "That was a Lance worthy tantrum."

Pidge cackles, an evil little thing.

"Lucky for you," she smirks, absolutely devious, "I happened to be only one that indulged Keith's conspiracies.."

"That's a best friend duty, you know. You're supposed to indulge him because he's your best friend," Hunk informs her.

"..therefore I was immediately ranked best friend and I can tell _most definitely_ you about his side of the pine forest that was your romance," she finishes.

...

_24th October 2018, Shay's Sweet Treats._

_"Shay!" Lance hugs the tall woman with an ecstatic grin on his face._

_"Lance," she smiles, equally as brightly, "You here for the cake?"_

_"Mhmm," he replies, "He still has no idea. About any of this."_

_"That's because everything's being handled by an amazing coordinator," Shay returns, bending to fetch the custom-made cake out of the showcase, "I could never plan and keep something this elaborate from Hunk."_

_"It's a labor of love, Shay," Lance hums, "It truly is."_

**...**

** 9th December 2018, Lance's Office, Voltron Communications Limited HQ.**

White hot pain. 

He grabs his brown locks in an attempt to ground himself, but to no avail. A moan slips past his lips.

Allura's hand is on his shoulder immediately.

"Lance," her voice is distorted, echoing, "Are you alright?"

_**I'm so sorry we couldn't work out, Lance. I just.. don't think you're what I need.** _

_**I get it, Allura, you don't have to apologize. And I.. I feel the same way.** _

_**...Does this really need to be this awkward?** _

_**Oh, fuck no, let's hug it out. Lotor landed himself a damn goddess and I hope he knows that.** _

_**Flushed cheeks. Dark skin. White hair. Laughter, bright and light like a windchime.** _

"Allura," Lance gasps, eyes welling up with tears.

Her voice is clear and singular when he hears it this time, and his vision only slightly blurred.

"I," he licks his lips, afraid to say the words, in case he jinxes it.

But this is good news, and he can't hold himself back.

"I think I'm starting to remember."

She squeals a laugh and they embrace in his cubicle.

**...**

**Mi Vida <3**

My mom, Shiro, and Adam are here. So are Pidge, Matt, Shay, and Hunk. What's going on?? [07:30 PM]

Ae-in, I just got a call from Allura asking me where you are?? [7:45 PM]

**MISSED CALL(S) FROM MI VIDA <3 (4)**

Leandro Sebastian McClain, answer damn your phone. Everyone's been calling, but nobody's getting you. [08:15 PM]

I hope this isn't a fucking prank or something. I'm really starting to worry. Please, baby, call me back. [08:35 PM] 

**...**

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. You Should Always Remember, To You, My Heart I Surrender.

** 12th December 2018, Kogane-McClain House. **

The flashes happen at the most random of times; in the shower, while he's having breakfast, while he's using the loo.

The random memories, combined with all the stuff the others, his _friends,_ have told him starts to make sense. 

It's like the tabs of a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle are  _finally_ , finally falling into place.

And he welcomes each flash with reckless abandon, excited to learn more secrets about himself, his life, and most importantly, his relationship with Keith.

It's after dark when he gets home, as Mr. Coran Smythe, his boss, had instructed them to start working Christmas hours. Lance himself had a crapload of work quite literally tossed onto his lap.

There is a red mug embellished with snowflakes on top of the coffee table, and on the sofa, asleep, is Keith.

He's covered in a quilted baby blue blanket, his hand tightly gripping it. His wedding ring (which Lance now realizes he hasn't taken off) glints under the dim lighting of the living room, and the Christmas tree has been assembled, decorations neatly put away in the storage bags next to the tree, ready to be decorated when they have the time.

Dark hair cascades over his forehead and his pink lips are parted  _just so_.

And the tell-tale pain in his head starts again. This time though, he's ready for it. He welcomes it.

**_A tall, dark-skinned woman giggling._ **

**_Hot eggnog served in fragile, elegantly decorated china._ **

**_Kisses that taste like peppermint under the mistletoe._ **

**_The thick texture of wrapping paper._ **

**_Indigo eyes staring in awe at a velvet black box, cheeks blooming red._ **

**_Slow dancing in this very same living room, pale hands entwined in brown locks._ **

**_Music playing softly,_ **

**_Oh, we're in love, aren't we?_ **

**_Hands in your hair_ **

**_Fingers and thumbs, baby..._ **

Lance sighs, longingly.

"Lance?" Keith whispers, woken up, "You're home?"

"Yeah," he whispers back, "Coran kept us late. C'mon, let's get you to bed, hmm?"

Despite protesting that he doesn't need any help, Keith can't keep his balance for shit. 

Lance wraps his arm around Keith's waist and helps him up the staircase. Once they reach Keith's bedroom, Lance pauses at the door to make sure Keith doesn't fall or anything. Before he enters his room, Keith turns. He purses his lips before blinking up at Lance with wide violet eyes Lance is sure he's never truly seen on anyone else before.

(Truth is, Lance thinks that maybe he's falling for Keith. Again. It's so hard _not_  to fall for him; he has a shy, cute smile, and his eyes light up the room. He may think he hides his feelings well, but his eyebrows are so expressive that they give him away. He has a single dimple in his right cheek whenever someone manages to pull a smile from him. He's awkward and yeah, he misses social cues a lot but that's because he's a very introverted person but he's tried so hard to be friends with Pidge and Hunk. He's short and Lance could absolutely tell that he'd fit like a puzzle piece under his chin, sharp edges, strong but still vulnerable in his embrace.

Lance wants to card his hands through those soft, dark locks, wants to hold his hand, wants to caress his face, wants to place his nose along his neck and inhale his scent; musky and  _boy_ with a hint of something that was unique to _Keith_ , wants to look at his ring and say, he's _mine_ and I'm _his_. We're a pair. We belong together. Keith is an amazing person and the fact that he's so stunning that Lance can't help but stare at his almost ethereal beauty basically all the time is of absolutely no help, whatsoever.)

"Thank you," Keith smiles easily, looking up at Lance.

Blue and violet collide and the air between them is suddenly charged. It's electric. Keith worries his lower lip between his teeth and Lance's eyes follow. It's natural, almost as natural as Lance leaning foward subtly, almost as natural as Keith stepping closer.

And oh, how Lance wants to take that plump bottom lip between his own teeth, how Lance wants to drag Keith into his arms, to kiss him, or hold him and assure him that it's alright, he's almost back to the Lance that Keith knows and loves, but he can't. 

He can't take advantage of Keith's emotional vulnerability like that.

So instead, he steps back and says, "Good night, Keith."

He retreats to the guest room (Allura had gone back to her own apartment a few days ago when Lance had confessed that he'd started remembering) with his metaphorical tail between his legs, trying not to look back at the expression on Keith's face.

**...**

_24th October 2018, Kogane-McClain House._

_Keith's ringtone snaps him and Shiro out of their conversation._

_"Who is it?" Shiro asks, curiously._

_"I dunno," Keith's arched brows come together in a frown, "Maybe it's a wrong number?"_

_He swipes the 'accept call' button and his heartbeat suddenly speeds up. An unpleasant feeling, as if something terrible has happened, blooms in his stomach._

_"Is this Keith Kogane-McClain?" An accented, feminine voice comes from the other end of the call._

_"This is him," Keith confirms, "Who am I speaking to?"_

_"This is Dr. Romelle Danvers of Arus Private Nursing Home," she says, "I have you listed as the emergency contact of Mr. Lance McClain. I'm sorry to inform you, but there's been an accident."_

_And at that moment, his heart beats so fast that he swears it stops altogether._

_"Please come to the Arus General Hospital. We'll brief you there and then decide on whether to transfer him to private care or not."_

_The call disconnects._

_The phone falls out of his grasp with a heavy thunk on the ground._

_"Keith?" his mom, Krolia, asks._

_He rushes into the bathroom and slams the door behind him, throwing up every single thing that was in his stomach._

**...**

** 20th December 2018, Kogane-McClain House **

They decide to approach this normally and strategically.

Divide and conquer.

Lance had chosen the task of decorating the tree. Looking at the gold and red ornaments, he tries to come up with a decorating scheme that makes the tree look aesthetic and full.

Keith sits on the couch, pinecones painted and dusted with artificial snowflakes and glitter, presents already wrapped. There's a sketchbook in his hand, violet eyes hidden behind glasses. He nibbles on the end of a pencil, twirling it idly and expertly between his fingers as he tries to concentrate on finding all the best angles to draw.

~~Nobody mentions the almost kiss that happened in Keith's (their) bedroom the other day. To bring it up would be to open a can of worms Lance was not ready to stick his hand into, see his small (re:growing) crush on Keith.~~

The sunlight catches his ring again, and this time, Lance realizes something.

"Keith," he hums, picking up a red rocking horse and placing it on a branch, "What happened to my ring?"

From the way Keith freezes and tenses up, Lance should have known that this wouldn't be an easy conversation.

"I didn't think you'd want it back so soon after... you know," he replies, without looking up from the sketch he's working on.

Lance has to admit that Keith's excuse is a bit nonsensical, for a lack of better word.

"But it's my ring," Lance says as if it's the simplest thing in the world, "If it's a symbol of my marriage to you, why shouldn't I wear it?"

"Lance, if you woke up wearing the ring, which you wouldn't have as it's hospital policy to remove all items off of patients, it wouldn't have meant anything to you. It wouldn't have changed anything," Keith replies.

"And how are you so sure of that?!" Lance replies hotly, riled up now, "If you gave the ring to me the day we got here, if you told me we were married the day I came home, it might have helped jog my memory. At least then I'd know that there was someone out there that loved me and cared for me! Do you know how frightening it was to wake up with no idea of who you are, or how you got to that point, or being told that you have to go home with this... this stranger? Do you have any idea how that feels, Keith?!"

"You can't keep playing that card forever, Lance!" Keith snaps, "Do you honestly think that if you wore your ring, your  _wedding_  ring-- which would have meant nothing to you because you had amnesia-- would have made it any easier on us? We'd still be in the same position we're in right now except we would have both been hurting even more! Me more than you!"

"But it's always been about  _you_ , hasn't it?!" Lance retaliates, frustrated because that's plain  _bullshit_ , what about  _his_  suffering, "You're being so selfish! You didn't give me my ring because _you_  weren't ready! You're stuck living in the past, holding onto the memory of a life with a Lance who's not here! Newsflash: You need to wake up and realize that your version of Lance, the perfect husband or whatever, is gone! This happened and we can't reverse it, no matter how badly we want to."

"Hell, I don't-- I don't know anything other than the fact that I just want to let go of this, the past and move onto the future-- a future with new memories. A better future," Lance continues, "And you need to decide whether you want that too, Keith. Or whether you just want to stay here and mourn the life you've never had, or could have had. And if you want to go down that route, it's not fair or healthy for either one of us."

Keith doesn't say anything. He just looks up at Lance with watery violet eyes, tears running down his cheeks, and  _shit_ , Lance hadn't meant to hurt him like that, but it needed to be said. Keith should have told him about their... situation since day one, not keep it from him. 

"I--" Lance starts, but pauses.

"No," Keith shakes his head.

He gets up and says fiercely, "No, I'm glad you told me how you feel. In the past, we had communication issues, you know? It wasn't all perfect. It seems as though we still do."

He wipes away a few tears and says, "For the record, I didn't tell you for your own benefit. I knew you were overwhelmed enough as it was, and I didn't want to add to that. I  _chose_  to put you first by not burdening you with all this. I may not be able to tell you what it's like to be told to go home with a stranger, but you have no idea what it's like being opening up and being vulnerable in front of a person who loved you for years. Who used to know every single quirk about you. You don't understand what it's like to have to rebuild the relationship that we had, that we lost."

But Keith isn't finished.

"You don't understand what it was like sitting by someone's bedside for days and nights, wondering if they'll wake up," Keith's voice cracks and so does Lance's heart, "You don't understand what it's like to loose your best friend, your _husband_ , the man you swore you'd spend the rest of your life with, loving them till death parts you. You have no idea what I went through, how many days I spent crying, almost loosing myself. So don't ever think you have the right to whether directly or indirectly tell me how I should feel about this... situation. But thanks for your honesty, anyway."

Keith storms out the room, leaving Lance feeling like the world's biggest  ~~asshole~~  jerk. 

**...**

_25th October 2018, Arus Private Nursing Home._

_"It was a car accident," Dr. Romelle says, sweeping golden blonde locks away from her forehead after hours in the E.R. and Trauma division, "He was on the opposite side of the road and a drunk driver ran a red light. Mr. McClain was fortunate enough to escape with minimal injuries. There are good news and bad news, however. The good news is that after his stay here, he should be back to normal and fully recovered. He'll be able to move and work and such. The bad news is.. and Mr. Kogane-McClain, I suggest you have a seat before I continue to speak."_

_Shiro and his mom put a hand on each of his shoulders as he slowly sinks into the cushion beneath him._

_"There was some irregular swelling of the tissues in his brain, most likely where he suffered the impact of hitting the wheel."_

_"No," Keith whimpers, barely able to see through his tears, "Oh God, no, no, no."_

_"We had to put him into a medically induced coma to stop the swelling," Dr. Romelle continues._

_His mom gasps, tightening her grip on him._

_"As you know, a coma can last anywhere between three days to... well, there is no certain way of knowing how long he'll be in that state," Dr. Romelle finishes._

_He can hear the pity in her voice. His vision becomes woozy, and he buries his head into the shirt of the person closest to him, Shiro._

_"No, no, p-please don't do this, p-please don't take him away from me," Keith hiccups through his sobs, which are muffled into Shiro's shirt as he tries to rub soothing circles into his back, a poor attempt at calming him._

_"Keith," Krolia breaks down, running her hands through his hair._

_"N-Not yet," Keith says, praying to any deity that will hear him, "Please d-don't take him away. I l-love him. I ca-can't say g-goodbye and I c-can't do th-this without h-him, Lance come b-back!"_

_"Keith, breathe honey," Krolia whispers, tears staining her cheeks._

_He can't. He can't. He can't._

_He just wants Lance._

_Lance, Lance, Lance._

_"We can sedate him to get him calmed and rested if he's going into a panic," Dr. Romelle says, "Mr. Kogane-McClain, can you hear me?"_

_The lightheaded-ness worsens and he doesn't answer._

_Instead, he falls flat against his brother as his vision goes black._

**...**

** 24th December 2018, Kogane-McClain House. **

**_Chestnuts roasting on an open fire_ **

**_Jack Frost nipping at your nose..._ **

The song blares softly in the living room. Outside is a field of white, dollops of freshly fallen snow scattered along any surface it touches.

Since they've been married for around a year (bless you, Hunk!), they hadn't really had any Christmas or Christmas Eve traditions. 

Things between Keith and Lance hadn't really improved. Keith only spoke to him when it was necessary, and spent most of his time in his room.

Lance had been meaning to apologize to him ages ago, but he could never seem to find the right opportunity to do that.

If only he hadn't jumped to conclusions.

The sound of loud footsteps descending the staircase disturbs him from his thoughts.

Keith appears at the base of the staircase and looks at Lance with red-rimmed eyes.

"I forgot your family would be coming over tonight," he says, smacking his forehead, "It's Nochebuena and they'll be coming and I don't have anything prepared."

He's panicking, and Lance can tell by the uneven tone of his voice.

"Okay," Lance says, "Okay. Calm down. We have some time, we can make a grocery run and prepare."

"The house has been cleaned from top to bottom  _twice_ , cloths, centerpieces, sheets, and curtains changed, windows and doors scrubbed," Keith replies, and Lance nods, knowing they did this over the weekend, "We just have to take care of the food."

Keith's phone rings, startling them both.

After he takes the call, he looks relieved.

"That was Veronica," he tells Lance, "Marco and Luis will bring the pig. We'll roast it in the yard when your family gets here. Lisa will make the  _hallacas_  and the  _ponche crema_ and bring it over. Veronica and Rachel will get the  _sidra_. Mamí will take care of the rice and the rum for the  _cuba libres_. We can take care of the bread, the plantains, the chicken, the salad, the  _croquetas_ , and the  _pastelitos._  Oh, and  _buñuelos_  are a must have too, so we'll need to make those."

Lance hopes he doesn't look as overwhelmed as he feels.

"Okay," he breathes, "We can do this. Just give me the recipes and we can do it."

"Here we go," Keith hands him a small notepad and pen from its little holder atop the microwave.

Although he will never admit it out loud, Lance struggles to keep up as Keith dictates the recipes. 

Miraculously, it doesn't turn out to be a hot mess. 

No. In fact, their dishes turn out perfectly fine, mainly because Keith seems to know what he's doing, and Lance is thankful for that.

"So," Lance trails off, "Do you have any traditions?"

"Not really." Keith says, "I just spend time with my mom, my brother--"

"Shiro," Lance supplies helpfully, "And his husband, Adam."

"Yes," Keith sends a small smile in Lance's direction.

And hey, if that's not a good opening for a sincere apology, Lance doesn't know what is. 

**...**

** 24th December 2018, Kogane-McClain House.  **

The glass panel slides open behind him. 

Lance instinctively knows it's Keith, so he doesn't bother to turn around.

"Hi," Keith greets, tugging the scarf around his neck a little bit tighter.

"Shouldn't you be playing host?" Lance smiles, turning to face the other man.

"Your brothers and sisters are playing dominoes downstairs. Mamí and Papí left to go to Mass," Keith smiles in return, "I can afford to sneak out."

He hands Lance a teacup full of liquid.

"I snagged some of Lisa's  _ponche crema,_ " Keith's lips raise into a tiny half smirk that does things to Lance's heart, "Careful, it's cold."

Keith sits on the deck, next to him.

"Maybe this sounds stupid but... I just felt so... caged in and claustrophobic back there," Lance says, "Like, the moment Mamí and Papí left, I just had to get out."

He nods but says nothing, and the silence is comfortable. 

"Can I tell you something?" Keith asks after the silence gets overbearing.

"Of course you can," Lance says warmly.

There's a hint of a blush high on Keith's cheeks, and whether it's because of the delicious frostbite, or the rum in the eggnog, or something else, but Lance can't take his eyes off of him. He can't help but think of how much more gentle Keith looks with those rosy cheeks and that small smile.

"Firstly, needing a break isn't stupid," he says, "And uh. I just wanted to tell you.. when we first started dating, we used to do this. Sit and talk under the stars, you know? Enjoy each other's company."

"Yeah?" Lance asks, "I can't imagine that today is an easy day for you."

Keith nods.

"It's not. You have no idea how hard today is for me. But..you're right," he continues, "I can't keep holding on to the past. It's not good for any of us."

"Hey, no, as I said earlier, it was wrong of me to jump to conclusions like that," Lance interrupts, before Keith can continue to feel guilty, "I was stupid for snapping at you, and I should have listened when you explained."

Keith doesn't say anything but looks down at his toes.

"Since you told me something, I guess it's only fair that I tell you something in return," Lance mock-scratches his chin, playfully grinning.

Keith gives a small, delighted laugh next to him.

"You know you can tell me anything," he tells Lance after sobering up, the moonlight giving his pale skin an almost ethereal glow.

They said that the eyes are the window to the soul and Lance could totally see why the saying exists, just by sitting here and looking into Keith's.

He's at peace, and he's happy.

And he's never looked more contented.

Lance's breath catches in his throat.

"Lance?" Keith prompts, startling Lance out of his staring.

"I'm starting to remember, Keith," Lance says, the large smile on his face truly genuine, "It's happening slowly, but surely. I'm remembering everything."

"Oh my gosh," Keith gasps, eyes widening in joy, "Oh my gosh, Lance."

"And, well," Lance drops all eye contact, suddenly shy, "I just... Deep down, I know that  _when_  I do remember, I want to pick up where we left off.. before the accident. Deep down, I just know that I love you so much and I want this to work. I want us. And the only reason why I'm not doing anything about this is because I want us both to take the time to heal, and to fall in love all over again-- and I'll gladly wait for that to happen; I'll gladly wait for you, if you'll have me whenever you're ready."

Warm, slightly chapped but velvety lips press against his cheek, and it feels even more intimate than a kiss on his lips.

"Silly man," Keith smiles, a small, soft thing, "You already have my heart. You already have all of me. Let's just take it slow and easy going foward, yeah?"

"Yeah," Lance agrees, trying to pretend that his cheeks aren't burning right now.

 

**...**

_25th October 2018, Arus Private Nursing Home._

_He's sobbing, fat, ugly tears, but he's calmed down now._

_"I'm not going to lie and tell you everything's going to be alright because it's not," Adam whispers, rubbing soothing circles into his brother-in-law's back, "But let it go now, and then pull yourself together and be strong, okay? You need to be strong so that you don't loose sight of who you are and what you and your husband have when he comes back to you."_

_He hugs Adam tightly when the nurse with the nametag 'NYMA' comes into the room._

_"Keith Kogane-McClain?" she asks, blonde braid swinging._

_"That's him," Adam says._

_"These are your husband's personal effects," she replies, handing over a bag with a tag and stickers with Lance's personal information, "You'll need to sign here for proof of collection."_

_"Wh-What's in here?" he asks, voice shaking._

_"His cellphone, jewellry, wallet, car keys and a small box... I'm not authorized to open the box though," she tells him._

_Keith shakily signs his name on the clipboard._

_He removes the box from the bag and opens it._

_It's a cake, decorated with Shay's calligraphy._

_**Happy birthday, Keith!** _

_"He was planning a party," his mom says, resting her hand on his shoulder, "That's why we all were there."_

_"Oh God," he whimpers, feeling the bile rise in his throat, "Throw it away, mom. I can't-- I can't--"_

_He doesn't throw up._

_Instead, his eyes hurt as another hot stream of tears escape his eyelids._

**...**

** Christmas Day, Garrett House. **

"Hunk, that meal was delicious!" Allura exclaims.

"A masterpiece," her fiancé, Lotor, affirms.

"I don't usually agree with Lotor," Shiro smiles, "But you've outdone yourself, Hunk."

"Well thanks, guys," Hunk smiles, "But I had help."

Seated to Hunk's left, Shay grins.

"A toast," Lance declares, standing, "To friendship, family, and new beginnings."

Wine glasses raise in salute, until...

"Oh my God, Shay," Pidge gasps, "Is that... Is that Dr. Pepper? Are you.."

"Yeah," Shay's grin widens, "I'm pregnant, guys!"

"Congratulations!" Adam says, excitedly.

"Finally!" Matt grins, fist bumping Hunk, who turns red.

Everyone laughs at that.

Krolia flashes Shay a smile and a nod.

Keith stands this time, raising his glass "To Hunk and Shay. To the future."

The couple locks eyes, smiling, as he says the last part.

 _To our future_  goes unsaid between him and Lance as everyone echoes, "To the future."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a tiny playlist i listened to while writing; 
> 
>  
> 
> [hearts don't break around here by ed sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20pAJPNaAyw)
> 
>  
> 
> [my heart i surrender by i prevail](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4JVW_uidFI)
> 
>  
> 
> [bad liar by imagine dragons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEDhGX-UTeI)
> 
>    
> [lego house by ed sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZlk32gyNhk)
> 
>  
> 
> [in the name of love by martin garrix ft bebe rexha](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnBT9uUYb1w)
> 
> ____
> 
> i was kinda really excited to showcase my caribbean culture with lance's family. keep in mind i'm no latina but there is heavy spanish influence in the country i'm from, and the two dishes i chose to mention whilst writing this are the two most popular dishes around christmas time. 
> 
> hallacas are a corn-based dough stuffed with meat of your choice, along with select fruit/veggies such as olives and raisins. they're folded in plantain leaves and tied with string, then boiled. 
> 
> ponche crema is basically eggnog that's spiked with rum. 
> 
> i don't know much about cuban cuisine (i tend to stick to cuban history more) so i had to research for those dishes. if you see something wrong, please don't hesitate to point it out!


End file.
